How to get through tough times.

OK, I’m going to put myself out there…well, not all the way out, but I will say that despite how wonderful everything seems to look in my life, (building our dream home, great kids, loving family, awesome job, etc…) I too have those stop the presses moments. You know those moments. The pull the rug from you, hold on tight, it’s going to be messy for a while moments. Yep, no one is immune to the suckiness that life throws your way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a great life, a life that I have created through hard work, goal setting and a positive attitude… and I’m not talking about the average, “I’m late for work, the dog had an accident, forgot my lunch” stress that happens all the time…I’m talking about the life interrupting, we need to figure this out type moments that can easily elicit the “why me” moments. I’ve written about one of these moments before, in The Definition of a Challenge.

So, how do we survive the inevitable “holy crap, I can’t believe this is happening (in a bad way)” moments without sinking into depression? I’ve put together some ways I (we) deal with the icky stuff:

Cry.

It’s ok not to be strong once in a while. It’s ok to call a friend and vent. It’s ok to close (lock?) the door behind you, lay on your bed face down and sob. Seriously. Judith Orloff, MD wrote a full article on Psychology Today on the benefits of tears. Check it out here.

Be strong.

Once you’ve got the puffiness in your eyes down to where you can see again, it’s time to put the big girl pants back on and take a deep breath. You’ve got this.

It may be hard, it may get harder, but however you feel, will not change the situation. Ask yourself, who do you need to be strong for? What needs to be done to move forward or begin healing.

Find the lesson.

There is a lesson in everything, but you may have to look for it. Even if a devastating situation makes you feel more compassion towards others, helps you become a stronger person, pulls your family closer. There is a lesson. What is the universe trying to tell you? Is this the brick that Oprah is talking about in her “Pay Attention to Your Life” message? Or, was this a totally unforeseeable act that will now move your life in a new direction? Either way, find the lesson. Learn from it and become stronger, better, wiser from it.

Look for the positive.

Things could always be worse, right? Yes. It may not feel like it and/or you might not want to think about it, but they could. What good can you focus on? What thing can you look forward to. Who or what do you have right now that you can appreciate, love and feel grateful for? Again, it may be hard and it may get harder, but there is always a light.

Update:

I started this post about month ago, just a few days after we received a call from our son that he had been in a car accident. A femur fracture, whiplash and severe chest bruising from the airbag set him back for a while. We are fortunate that it wasn’t worse. He is resuming his planning for his trip across the country via train. We are all healing.

Time heals. Physically, emotionally and mentally. If you need help healing, please seek out resources in your area, talk to a friend, find a support group, send me a message. Life happens and sure enough you will be faced with a set back. How you deal with it will determine how you recover.

Be Healthy, Be Well.

The Cohn’s