It’s been a minute…or perhaps a year.

Oh my goodness! Seriously, how can it be that I haven’t blogged in over 7 months? I guess I kind of lost my voice. This year has been a rough one. I try not to measure my life in years because there are such great things and awful things each and every year, month, week and day. But, this year seems to have been a bit different for us. 

 I thought I would wrap up our year by summarizing the highlights of each month and then letting you all know what’s in store for 2020. Nothing too inspirational here, just a recap f the year so we can get caught up and move on. So, here goes: 

January:

As you most likely know, I lost my Dad on January 23rd. I could tell you the hour, but probably not the minute. I can tell you it was the worst moment of my life. I think about my dad every single day. This year has been a rough one.

February:

Harry built a woodshed and I turned 48! Yep. I totally owned my age this year – sometimes looking in the mirror and stretching my skin upward to get a small glimpse of my former firmer self. It’s OK. I’m owning it! I am contemplating botox when I become rich. As for the woodshed, the more weathered it gets, the better. How about that?

March:

Heart Walks, Heart Balls and dealing with depression. Utica, NY hosts the oldest American Heart Association Heart Walk fundraiser and we got to be a part of it! It was cold and long and inspirational and fulfilling. We worked hard but got so much back. From Utica to Saratoga in a few hours, we traded our sneakers for high heels (or at least I did!) and celebrated the Capital Region’s Heart Ball. It was just as inspirational and oh, so glamorous.  You can celebrate all you want, but I found out that no matter what, if you are dealing with depression, it has a grip that can not be broken by smiles alone. If it’s not you, guaranteed it’s someone closer than you know. Be kind and patient and gentle with those around you.

April:

I lost a friend. My son is 21. Wait, what? Seriously. A beautiful mentor, volunteer and friend died. Her name was Jane Golub. She probably never knew what an inspiration she was to me. I told myself that no mater how small of an impact someone makes on me, I need to let them know. Roll your eyes – it’s ok. If you are reading this, I would bet my life that you have made a positive impact on someone – probably me, somehow. As for the 21 year old…yeah, still trying to figure that all out. (we both are!)

May:

Surprise! You are at a wedding! And we lost an uncle. Yep, our awesome friends, Julie and Lawrence pulled off the best surprise wedding ever. We thought we were going to a 50th surprise party, but the surprise was on us. (can I say SURPRISE one more time without being annoying? I don’t think so). Honored to be a part of this fun-loving sweet day.

And sadly we said goodbye to one of the most gentle giants we knew. Harry’s Uncle Bob passed away peacefully but rather unexpectedly. 

June:

Heart Walk and Happy Birthday! Yep, another Heart Walk – this is where it all began almost 13 years ago. I am so inspired from the awesome volunteers (and now friends) that I met 13 years ago when I first started at the AHA! And, Mr. C turned 40 – er – 50 something! Wow. He is still the most handsome man I know. (Heart thumping right now!)

July:

A cruise with mom and time with family. Such a great, much needed Caribbean get away with my mom. We had so much fun and made great memories.

Towards the end of the month we got to spend some quality time with Harry’s sister and her amazing grandson. What a blessing. 

August:

Work transitions, a bountiful harvest, a new knee for mom and now we have a 26 year old? Oh, and we’re married now for 28 years? Hmmm…Not sure what else to say. 

September: 

Happy Birthday, a sad anniversary and another goodbye. My sister turned 50 this year. 50. Really? How does the time go by so quickly? She is my hero.

This month too, I mourned the loss of a wonderful volunteer and friend who died too soon and too suddenly last year. I think about her a lot. I wish I could have told her how special she was.

We also helped our son grieve for a highschool friend who lost his life way too early and way too suddenly. Attending services for a child that is your child’s age is one of the hardest things you can think of. The faces of family members and friends grieving the loss of this young life will remain in my memory for as long as I live. Again, pay attention to those around you. 

October:

West Virginia, Mountain Mama, Take Me Home! Our annual trek to WV was filled with fun, adventure, laughter and a kitten. (Not ours, just one to cuddle with while we were visiting.) Just what the doctor ordered.

November:

Cancer Sucks. We lost our Sister, the world lost the most loving woman I was honored to know. We would be remiss if we didn’t give a huge shout out to everyone who helped with the amazing fundraiser that has helped offset the cost of my beautiful sister-in-law’s medical bills due to her ferocious battle with lymphoma. Sadly she lost her fight. Second worst moment of my life. This year has been rough. 

So, what do you do when you are faced with sadness at the most stressful time of year? You get a puppy – so yes, that makes 3 dogs, 8 chickens and a bearded dragon named Taco! 

December:

Hope, joy, revival, continued sadness. We were hoping to wrap up this year with some great memories (and we did) without anymore sadness (but we couldn’t). We had a great 10 days with Harry’s sister celebrating Christmas and family. Sadly, our daughter lost 2 friends unexpectedly over the course of a few days late this year. Young, vibrant, beautiful souls taken way too soon. We are struggling with how to help our daughter (still a child to me) get through this grief. A grandpa, aunt and now 2 friends. What lesson can we give her? What message of hope can we offer? Its still too raw to even comprehend. 

I’m having a hard time with a transition after that, so, I’ll just say there you have it – 2019 in a crazy, beautiful, sad nutshell. It took me a bit to pull this all together – finding photos, revisiting memories (with the help of Facebook!) and brushing up on my WordPress skills. There is a new block editor that I’ve been learning. I plan on learning more about how to make these posts look nicer, and hope you’ll follow along.

What’s up for 2020? Much of the same, but also some new things planned. Stay tuned for the continued adventure as I hope to share more lessons consistently this year. Check out this special journal I received from my daughter for Christmas! (It’s also a sneak peak at a weekly theme I’ve been thinking about for this blog): Stay tuned, and as alway, thanks for following along.

Love,
The Cohns